Sure I have only gone and done it… only gone and made a huge coffee slice cake.

I had tried rough puff pastry for the first time ever, on the Bake Off, and it was something I was anxious to try again. But not the way they made me make it on TV… (the reason I got sent home. Stupid show… grumble, grumble…)

I figured I would make those Milles Feuilles, you see in the fancy bakeries but ugghhh.. why did I start… by the time I had finished all the turns and had the rolling of the pastry done, the children fed, cleaned and in bed I was getting lazy… so I actually just went to bed myself.

When I got up the next day, I totally forgot about it until I came home from work, went to the fridge for the dinner and by then just wasn’t really bothered anymore. So, I made one giant one instead of all the little ones and it’s minus the icing top part, because let’s be clear here, I have no shame, I couldn’t be bothered and thought powdered sugar would be the grandest!

Does that make me a bad baker? Yes. I had dreams of grandeur and it just wasn’t meant to be.

That’ll learn me for starting something that needs all the patience at 9 o’clock of an evening!

Pastry:

450g Strong flour
Pinch of salt
300g of cold butter
240g cold water

Sieve the flour and salt into a bowl and then add the water.
Dice the cold butter into large chunks and lightly rub it into the flour. You basically need to just combine the two in whatever way together. You need to see those chunks of butter.
Once you have the pastry and butter together, leave it in the fridge for a few minutes to chill.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface, knead gently and form into a smooth rectangle. But don’t over work it as you want those chunks of butter there.
Roll the dough in one direction only, until 3 times the width.Jst go enough for this and then stop rolling.
Fold the top third down to the centre, then the bottom third up and over like you are wrapping a gift.
Roll it once more and then wrap it in clingfilm and place in the fridge for at least 20 minutes. This is a ‘turn’. You need to roll out the pastry, fold it and refrigerate it twice more before the pastry is ready and you will need to roll in the opposite direction to the last fold so that you get loads and loads of lovely buttery layers.
Roll it out finally to the size that you require. I just rolled out a rectangle and cut it in 4 even rectangles. And place said rectangles, spread apart, on your lightly dusted in flour, baking trays.
In a preheated oven at 190/375/gasmark 5 pop your trays in, and leave it cook for about 30-35 minutes until the tops are golden and the pastry has risen.
Take out and allow to cool before adding the filling.

I will actually do a picture tutorial of this next time I am making it… these instructions are so wordy, they bore me!!

Coffee Cream Filling:

250ml single cream
225g mascarpone cheese
50/60ml cooled strong coffee (or to taste)

Whip the mascarpone slightly so that it’s nice and smooth.
Add the single cream and whip until soft peaks form.
Add the coffee and whip the mixture until firm enough to pipe or spoon or slather between the pastry layers.

Dust with icing sugar or be a true baking champion and make the icing topping! Let me know if you do… I’ll send this guy round to lick the top off like he did here! He’s the reason we can’t have nice things… or leave the room for 5 minutes!