I firmly believe that one of the frequently asked questions
at interviews for skilled and highly valued jobs like say, sommeliers should
be: if you were a cake-like thing, what would you be. It is probably for the
best however that that’s not the case, as I myself would stare at the
interviewer in sheer panic and spend the following about five days going
through a mental list of all cakes and sweets and treats known to man, then opt
for eternal unemployment andspend my days making videos of cats and die shortly
after from asthma, or scratched to death. But if I really had to answer the
question in utmost seriousness, my immediate reaction would have been to identify myself with some seriously sugary out-of-the-strong-came-forth-sweetness-style sticky Bundt cake, or a spotty-face-inducing chocolatey fridge treat preferably to be consumed over
the sink, or some inexplicably underrated pumpkin cake all drenched in sweet syrup,
or again something containing worrying amounts of sugar and apparently chocolatey but not, because I can be peculiar like that. But
then it so happened that introspective times at the hairdresser’s via the strip catered for thoughts of Venetian masquerade balls that never came
into being, and brought back memories of Italian Carnival and warm kitchens and mid-week late
afternoons and greasy paper bags filled with fresh frittelle and sugar all over your mouth and your nose and your hair and your Latin homework; and this may or may not be me saying that’s my final answer, but if
you think it’s a coincidence that each of these little bites of deep-fried
sugar-coated deliciousness rhymes with my name, and don’t give in to sweetness too, and as per my very own Carnival tradition, glory in one frittella too many: you’re crazy.
100g (1/2 cup) firm silken tofu
60g (1/4 cup) sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon rum extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
250g (2 cups) cake flour
3/4 teaspoon active yeast
200ml (3/4 cup + 1 tablespoon) vanilla flavoured soya milk
zest of 1 orange
zest of ½ lemon
150g (3/4 cup) sultanas
Soak the sultanas in warm water for about half an hour, then
drain and tap dry.
Place tofu, sugar, rum + vanilla extracts and salt in a
blender and blitz until completely smooth and creamy. In a bowl mix together
flour and yeast, then pour in the tofu mixture a bit at a time, alternating
with the milk. Lastly fold in the orange and lemon zest and sultanas. Cover the
bowl with cling film and leave to rise overnight (about 12 hours).
After 12 hours, place about half a litre of oil in a deep
pan over medium heat until hot (ideally 150°C). Drop tablespoons of dough into
the oil and fry until dark golden brown. Place onto some kitchen towel to soak
up the excess oil, let cool down slightly then roll each ball in sugar and
have your own little Carnival party.
